Death is the Road to Awe
by Moya-chan
Summary: Arrancar arc spoilers. Ichigo is left behind in Hueco Mundo. What will happen after he is changed and what exactly is Shirosaki doing? Pairings - ChadIchigo, OrihimeTatsuki, others later on. Rated M for violence, gore, sexual theme. Mature readers only.
1. Chapter 1

**Fandom:** Bleach

**Title:** "Death is the Road to Awe" (Chapter 1)

**Pairing:** Main: Chad/Ichigo. Other pairings implied in later chapters.

**Rating:** M

**Warnings:****Spoilers up to current manga chapters and Arrancar arc! **Contains violence, future sexual themes, blood and gore and later other disturbing themes will be added.

**Beta:** Ryua

**Summary:** Arrancar arc. Ichigo gets left behind in Hueco Mundo. What will happen after he is changed and what exactly is Shirosaki doing?

**A/N:** This is a multi-chapter fic but it's been on temporary hiatus after second chapter. I just wanted to post it since it was a long time since my last update. Will most likely be continued after I am done with my exams.

Chapter title is a borrowed quote from movie "The Fountain".

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**Chapter 1**

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"_Kill me_."

Chad blinked in surprise, still not moving even an inch. He was exhausted, but that... creature he'd pinned to the dusty ground finally stopped struggling, after a long fight. His white coat now ragged and dirty, splattered with blood. Chad's blood.

He watched, terrified, as his eyes became clear, those ruthless black pools of hate that belonged to the Hollow now turning back to the warm, brown irises he used to gaze into for so long...

"Kill me." Ichigo repeated quietly, his voice suddenly tired and small, echoing in Chad's mind. "Kill me, because I can't kill myself."

He held the boy by his neck, just enough to pin him to ground and stop from fighting back. Now his hands twitched, and moved barely a millimeter away before Ichigo caught his wrists and stopped him, holding him in place. His gaze was steady, the touch of his hands firm but gentle, as if he was asking him to make love to him, not destroy his life.

That mask on his face... It kept reminding Chad of what he had become, that it wasn't just a bad dream... He was conscious now, the personality of his lover returned to the surface, surpassing the violent monster he was. But for how long?

How could he do that? The power of his right arm was awoken by Ichigo, by his own strength and now he was suppose to take his life with it?

"No." Chad protested weakly, trying to set his hands free, but Ichigo held them in place again, with unusual force. "I can't, don't ask me to do such a thing."

One soft, but surprisingly cold hand of the strawberry-blonde boy reached out to gently touch his cheek. Chad could do nothing but lean into the caress of those calloused bony fingers, just for a second allowing himself to forget that this couldn't last, that the monster will return in matter of minutes and then he won't be able to protect himself, nor anyone else...

"You promised me once." Ichigo spoke again, closing his eyes and focusing at the warmth that radiated from his partner's skin. Gods, how he missed that warmth, every second of his life during the last month he longed for it so much... "You promised me you will watch my back. Right now it's the best thing you can do. The _only_ way you can save me."

Chad shook his head, his eyes covered behind the curtain of his brown bangs, which his lover gently brushed back with a trembling hand, locking their gazes together. Ichigo's eyes were clouded with worry and fear, fear of what might become of him, of what he already was. The... _thing_ inside of him struggled for control, one false move and it took over, turning him into mindless puppet all over again, hurting those he cared about, those he loved so dearly. Ichigo was tired; tired of constantly staying on guard from himself, praying that he wouldn't loose control, wouldn't try to kill mindlessly.

"Please." Ichigo whispered, voice quivering. "_Yasutora_, please..."

That name, spoken in the soft tone that Ichigo used only when they were alone, at those rare moments that made it so special. It was always full of passion, of love, spoken out when they were in bed, making love for what it seemed like hours... but now it sounded weak and defenseless, like a death rattle...

Tears fell, splattering on Ichigo's face, when Chad closed his eyes, fighting an inner battle with himself, torn between the repulsive thought of killing and the only way to save his lover's soul. Was it really supposed to end like this? One dying by the other's hand? Because Chad knew that if he gave up now, his death would come as soon as the monster regained control. He wouldn't object, he would accept death from him with head raised high, knowing he did everything he could to bring him back. But it would not be him who would suffer the most. It would be Ichigo, knowing that this _thing _used his hands to kill.

Was he really allowed to do this? To end this misery here and now and spare his lover the immense feeling of guilt and hatred towards himself?

"Please..." Ichigo begged once again, shakily, not holding back the moisture that gathered now in his own eyes. His fingers absent-mindedly stroked Chad's hands still clasped lightly on his neck, feeling the armor of his right arm, the scratchy surface, so different from soft skin of the other hand.

And then it came, slowly increasing pressure of fingers, some hard and cold, the other warm and made of flesh. Ichigo took in one last breath and gently clasped his hands on Chad's, not to fight back, but in a silent, non-spoken 'thank you'. As his eyelids fluttered closed, tears finally fell down his cheeks. He rested his head on the ground, feeling the sudden flash of panic, fear of death coming in, but he fought it and stayed still, allowing his lover to cut his oxygen off, to suffocate him, to kill him.

After all, death was the road to awe.

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_One month earlier_

Ichigo tried to forget about pain, to will it away.

He couldn't really open his eyes, but he was still conscious, even though he wished it was otherwise. He didn't dare to move, feeling his fractured bones protesting in slow, agonizing torture. Ichigo was sure that some of his internal organs were damaged as well; the pool of fire that burned him from the inside, the taste of blood gathering in his mouth...

But it wasn't important; pain was almost non-existent when he focused enough to cut it off, to fight it with all his might. It still _was_ there, he just tried to ignore it, not wanting to show any more weakness.

"Aizen-sama won't be pleased." Grimmjow stood above his immobile body, nudging the boy's face with tip of his sandal. The Arrancar was tired, heavily beaten up and not in much better state then Ichigo, but he was still standing. "You are either extremely stupid or noble, I just can't decide which."

That was right... Ichigo tried not to sigh in relief as he remembered the scene from just barely minutes ago. The passage opened, his friends managed to get away. Their death was so close, so close he could almost sense it, a terrifying feeling creeping up his skin...

He was glad. Glad that he bought them time, that they passed the Garganta safely, even though each one of them was roughed up and in miserable state. While he fought he tried so hard to ignore the voice of Rukia, desperately calling him in that panicked, trembling voice, and only Renji's arms holding her back. She couldn't help him, not here and now, not when she was in that state. Neither of them could. Only for a second he took his eyes of his opponent to look at Chad, covered in his own blood, leaning heavily against Ishida who tried to help him move, even though he wasn't in better condition. One second, one look in that dark, almost black eyes of his lover and he felt his heart fell. They both were sorry. Chad apologizing silently that he wasn't any more help, Ichigo asking for forgiveness that he was leaving him behind again.

That one second of hesitation was enough and Grimmjow leapt, attacking furiously. The last thing Chad saw before the Garganta closed was a heart-wrenching sight of Ichigo being pierced by Arrancar's sword. The pained yell that escaped Chad's lips was already swallowed up by the closing passage, not a single sound reaching Ichigo's ears.

Such rescue group they were, Ichigo thought bitterly, coughing up blood that gathered in his mouth. They came here to take Orihime back and instead they got defeated, _he_ got defeated...

Grimmjow growled in frustration and seized a handful of Shinigami's robes, lifting him up from the ground a few inches. Ichigo's body protested with flash of pain from almost every cell of his body.

"Fortunately for you, Aizen-sama didn't allow me to kill you... yet."

Still holding him by his clothes the Arrancar jerked his hand, and moved towards the door, effortlessly pulling the boy along with him. Ichigo_almost_ screamed and the burning pain from his broken arm caused him to dive into blissful state of unconsciousness.

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"Ah, Grimmjow. We've been awaiting you."

The said Arrancar entered dark, round room, pulling the Shinigami boy to the center of it and throwing him on the floor with little a little more force than necessary. In the corner of his eye the Arrancar saw Orihime looking at her friend, her expression mortified, hands covering her mouth to muffle down the cry that almost escaped her. Stupid woman, that open vulnerability would cause her to die here. But Grimmjow couldn't really care less.

"Aizen-sama, I ask for a permission to finish him off."

"Not yet." Their leader looked mildly amused by behavior of the Sexta Espada. The man standing by his right side looked entirely cheerful, but with time all of them learned that Ichimaru Gin always wore his wide smile, no matter what circumstances were. It made him look like a fox; it was disturbing and constantly reminded them that there were things, secrets in Las Noches that Aizen-sama shared only with his first commander and no one else.

"Orihime, please tend to Grimmjow and heal his wounds."

She stirred, hearing her own name and slowly moved to the Arrancar's side, her hairpins separating and closing around him in a shield of white force field. She tried not to look at the strawberry-blonde teen, already feeling her resolve crumble. Falling apart right then wouldn't bring them anything good.

She bowed lightly once the healing process was finished and backed away, wishing that she could disappear, hide from all of this, just vanish...

"Wake him up." Aizen stepped down from his throne-like podium and walked to the wounded boy, Ichimaru following him like the shadow he pretended to be at times.

A sharp slap of Grimmjow's bony hand that collided with his face caused Ichigo to jerk back to reality, a loud and foul curse escaping his lips. He looked around, still half awake, taking in the details, or rather lack of them, of the room he was in, as well as the faces of people looking at him from different heights, eyeing him with either boredom or slight amusement.

"Aizen..." He growled, his fingers instinctively reaching for Zangetsu, even though his sword wasn't by his side. He moved, with intent to hurt, to kill, to wipe off that taunting smirk from that traitor's face... But his strained muscles protested and Aizen proved to be faster, his sandal-clad foot stomping down on Ichigo's broken arm, though not with as much force as he could have. Ichigo yelped against his will and stilled. That caused Ichimaru's smile to grow noticeably larger.

"I think you should now think about the position you are in." Aizen seemed calm, not rushing his words, as he looked down at the Shinigami. "One movement, one false move, and that little friend of yours is dead. Do you understand?"

Only then Ichigo's senses sobered enough for him to feel a familiar reiatsu in the room. He turned his head and for the fist time he came to Hueco Mundo, he saw Orihime, standing not far behind him.

His heart skipped a beat; she was here, alive... That was all that mattered. She was extremely pale, dressed in the same robes that Aizen and his creations wore and she looked like she was about to start crying. But she _was_ alive.

Ichigo's fears calmed down a bit. So he didn't fail, after all...

"Do you understand?" Aizen repeated, the pressure of his foot growing and Ichigo grunted.

"Yes."

"Good." The Arrancar leader took a step back, pleased to see that Ichigo listened and did not move to fight back once the pain eased. That certainly left him looking forward for what he was about to do...

The Hogyoku appeared in his outstretched hand, giving out an unsteady pale light, flickering like candle flame.

"Creating good Arrancar is not easy, but manageable." Aizen started, turning the orb in his fingers, as if he was thinking hard about something. "Given enough strength, enough reiatsu put into Hogyoku, it all can give birth to a powerful being. However..." He looked at his Arrancar, all eyeing the orb with suspicion and, at some level, fear. "... the results are quite random."

He crouched by the other boy, close, too close for Ichigo's comfort. He seemed to eye him with interest, almost like he was an extremely rare specimen he had never encountered before. In a way, he actually was.

And then his hand shot out, piercing the teenager's chest with a sickening, wet noise, placing the orb inside of his body.

Ichigo screamed, his shout matched by the one that emerged from Orihime. She leapt towards him, acting purely on instinct, words of healing chant almost, _almost_ forming on her lips... But there was a strong hand catching her arm, thin fingers winding around her limb in a painful grip. She turned, ready to hit, to claw at face of the one who stopped her from helping Ichigo... but it was Ulquiorra, his face perfectly blank, holding her in one place. She stilled under his gaze, unable to move even inch more.

"I wonder..." Aizen mused, observing boy's face twisting up in pain, feeling his racing heartbeat in the flow of his blood. "How Hogyoku reacts with a person that already has Shinigami _and_ Hollow powers? What would the result be, hmm?"

He sent his reiatsu to the orb, slowly, almost tentatively at first, then a powerful rush of energy, awaking the forbidden artifact. His hand jerked away from the flesh, accompanied with gruesome, smacking sound, blood dripping from his fingers, as he watched in fascination the unusual display in front of him.

At first Ichigo screamed. It was animalistic, primal yell of tortured body and soul, something that crawls out on surface of humanity when lives are in danger. It made Orihime step back, the pained voice drilling trough her head, hurting her senses. The roaring voice echoed in space of the room.

And then there was light.

The screaming stopped, any sound abruptly disappearing, like it was cut off with a knife. A burst of light surrounded his mutilated body, so bright that even Aizen had to raise his hand to shield his eyes. That reaction was pretty much similar to the one that appeared when he created his servants, had he been wrong about the Shinigami boy?

But no, much to the leader's satisfaction, the light beam stirred, waved in chaos that he haven't seen before, and then darkened, white mixing with black, until only shadow remained.

Orihime gasped, the strong reiatsu suffocating her. It was Ichigo's spirit; she could recognize it with her eyes closed, but his energy acted weird, it unstable and dark, scaring her...

The black swirls of reiatsu slowed and eventually eased down, revealing the figure that now stood up straight and firm on his feet, with his back to the girl. She knew instantly, that something was wrong; she could feel it in her guts, a nauseating feeling, making her sick.

Orihime actually screamed when he turned around. The sound wasn't born from fear, at least it didn't seem like it, but from the sheer feeling of being helpless and suddenly, very small and unimportant. Ichigo came here for her, to save her and now _this_ is what he got in return...

His face looked pretty much the same, except for the cold, dead look that now filled his eyes, pupils slit to narrow lines and almost one third of his Hollow mask on left side of his face, covering part of his cheek, temple and some of his hair...

Kurosaki Ichigo had died the same moment that Hogyoku touched his body.

An Arrancar was born.


	2. Chapter 2

**Fandom:** Bleach

**Title:** "Death is the Road to Awe" (Chapter 2)

**Pairing:** Main: Chad/Ichigo. Other: Tatsuki/Orihime. Possible pairings implied in later chapters.

**Rating:** M

**Warnings:****Spoilers up to current manga chapters and Arrancar arc! **Contains violence, future sexual themes, blood and gore and later other disturbing themes will be added.

**Beta:** Ryua

**Summary:** Arrancar arc. Ichigo gets left behind in Hueco Mundo. What will happen after he is changed and what exactly is Shirosaki doing?

**A/N:** Quick update, but do not expect third chapter until end of February, my exams last until 28th, so I probably won't have time to write anything until then. Thanks to those who reviewed and added this story to alerts/favourites.

Story title is a borrowed quote from movie "The Fountain".

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**Chapter**** 2**

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Chad opened his eyes, lids heavy as if they were made from lead, not flesh. Blinking turned out to be difficult, almost like he had sand in his eyes, a burning and unpleasant feeling. He heard some voices closing to him and at first he couldn't quite grasp who were they calling out to, the painful, dull pounding in his head muffling down all the words.

Then realization slowly came in and he caught Urahara's voice, Yoruichi-san as well...

He stirred, forcing his muscles to work he raised himself on his elbows and sat up, more or less straight.

The others were a mess. Not even single one of them was left without cuts and bruises and surely some more dangerous wounds as well. Where the hell was Ichigo?

Then the memory came. Rukia screaming, the Arrancar stabbing his lover through his chest, his own scream... Chad's eyes widened up in terror, against the protest of his bruised back he turned around, looking up from where they fell from. Violent shivers ran down his spine as he looked upon the bright, blue sky.

The Garganta was gone.

Ichigo was still in Hueco Mundo.

He barely noticed a hand dropping on his arm, the touch and reiatsu he immediately recognized as Yoruichi's, but somehow her words didn't reach him. The sounds of commotion around seemed to fade into the anxious beating of his own heart, hammering against his chest. He still gazed up at the cloudless sky of Urahara's training space, as if expecting the passage to open up again any second...

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Orihime cried soundlessly, her eyes still fixed on Ichigo's face, now filling her with fear and confusion. He wasn't Ichigo anymore, not the same one she knew and loved. She could just sense it, in the unsteady movement of his chaotic reiatsu, in the way his eyes reflected nothing at all, not even a shadow of emotion. There was still a faint feeling of her friend deep inside that black mass of hatred and anger, the small light of hope illuminating the endless darkness that reigned over him now, but Orihime knew that it fought a loosing battle. This tiny part of consciousness, like a candle, fluttered and struggled to survive, but wasn't meant to exist in the world where there was no trace of human feelings and bonds.

"Ichigo."

A voice, low but superior, filled the room and he moved, reacting to it, looking up at figure of Aizen, staring at him, apparently pleased with result. Truly, the experiment gave a better result then he expected. He already knew that this... creature was not like other Arrancars, not being born from Hogyoku alone, but from body that already held Shinigami powers. The remains of his mask were small, insignificant, which indicated that he wouldn't be easy to tame; the less mask, the more difficult they were to control. But he eventually would, he would bend this boy to his wishes, he will teach him to obey...

"Yes..." His voice was pretty much the same, only a tint of anger lingering there, barely noticeable. "...Aizen-sama?" He added after a moment.

Good. There was a progress already.

"Enter the Espada."

Something resembling entertainment showed up in Ichigo's face, and a grin grew on his lips as he eyed the Arrancars.

"Gladly." He allowed his eyes to close for a mere second, and when he opened his eyelids again, his eyes were pooling with black, brown irises turning yellow. "Too bad my Aibou can't do this alone."

Now his voice was different, darker, like the sounds were not forming in Ichigo's lips but from somewhere deep, deep inside him and didn't belong to the boy at all. Orihime knew it already, it was something... someone that Ichigo was constantly afraid of.

The creature moved, fast enough to loose track of him, but soon enough the shape renewed, leaping out at Aizen, Zangetsu in its hand. The fatal blow was stopped barely an inch from his opponent's throat, Ichimaru's Soul Cutter blocking it from cutting down. Still, Aizen did not stir, did not move in smallest way, confident that Gin would react. If his commander were late, he could always get things done himself... but the result would leave Las Noches in mess and he did not want that.

"Who are you?" The leader tipped his head slightly to the side, slightly amused, looking down at the black eyes that stared at him with hatred, merely centimeters away.

"I don't have a name." The creature replied swiftly, easing his sword down and wrapping it in its cloth sheath, as it seemed that he understood that with his current power he was at a disadvantage.

"How should we call you then?"

Silence. The thing in Ichigo's body seemed to be lost in thought.

He never had a name, never needed it. Why would anyone want to bond themselves with such disgustingly _human_ things like names? Creating bonds to such fragile thing as a name? However, there seemed to be a need for him getting a name; using Ichigo's seemed awkward even for him, like Ichigo could gain more control over his dark side by sharing a name. He wondered and then remembered what his King's companions used to call him.

"Shirosaki." He mused. "That will work for now."

"Very well. I gave you an order."

The hollow eyed Aizen with amusement, low chuckle escaping his lips.

"Not exactly. You gave order to my Aibou, not to me." He nonchalantly raised his arms, resting them on back of his neck and sighed theatrically. "Unfortunately, he's still my King."

Shirosaki looked over the faces of Arrancar that were watching him, his gaze stopping at Grimmjow's figure. He grinned, a wide and uncharacteristic grin for the strawberry-blonde boy, as he pointed at his opponent with bony finger.

"If I have to kill someone to enter your little playground, it would be you. But unfortunately, killing you is my Aibou's task." With that, he turned to Yammy. "For now you will do, big guy."

He attacked, fast and angry, not even bothering to pick up his sword. Yammy blocked the first attack, but when Shirosaki disappeared only to materialize right behind his back, the giant realized that this was not an opponent for him. Desperately he tried to avoid incoming blows, but after a second both of his arms were held in a vice grip. The hollow's fairly small hands and bony fingers shouldn't be able to hold him back like this, like it was no problem at all, even though Yammy struggled with all his power to release himself.

"Right arm, wasn't it?" Something in shape of a hiss came from the hollow and for a split second Yammy had the disturbing feeling of deja vu. Shirosaki smirked, a faint memory from his Aibou flooding his mind. His brown-haired friend, bloodied and broken, bones crushed and muscles torn. "Too bad, because I am going to take so much more then just that."

A deafening yell rang trough the halls of Las Noches, as the strong, way too strong tug ripped his skin off, dislocating the bones and eventually tearing the two limbs off his body. The former Shinigami's robes were splattered with dark, thick blood as he tossed the mutilated flesh away. One of his arms shot up to grab the tenth Espada by his wide neck and with little pressure he forced his knees to buck up under the weight and kneel. Both of the bony hands held his neck now, thin fingers wrapping around the flesh like spider's net, digging into the skin painfully, cutting the oxygen off.

Orihime couldn't watch, she wanted, _needed_ to turn her eyes away but somehow she couldn't, too transfixed on the gruesome show of power play before her. She knew that hollows were brutal, she was aware of that dark, twisted part that rested inside of Ichigo, but this... To see it with her own eyes... It was terrifying. Never before now had she wished that she never knew the orange-haired boy, because surely, no one could be friends with that... that monster that he became now. Yet she knew it was not his fault; In fact, it was_ her_ fault entirely, because he came here to save her. She didn't make a sound, but tears rolled down her face as Shirosaki smiled even wider, if that was humanly possible. His fingers dug into the flesh, piercing it, blood spraying his clothes and nearby surroundings as he tore trough the arteries and layers of muscle. A few seconds later Yammy's head fell to the floor with a sickening, wet noise and the lifeless body was released from the hollow's grasp, to tumble freely on the ground with loud thud.

The silence in the room was overwhelming and Orihime could only hear the faint sound of blood that dripped from the torn neck of former tenth Espada and Ichigo's own, soft breathing, now that Shirosaki had backed away and allowed his King to take control again. The orange-haired boy looked at his bloodied hands, then at the mutilated body on the floor, but even though Orihime knew that such a sight would normally scare him, now she could see no trace of emotion on his face.

He wiped his hands on a more or less clean part of his black robe, then gasped and the fingers of his right hand clasped over the back of his neck. Orihime could see that his skin there darkened with every passing second and finally, after a short moment, a clear number ten adorned his skin, like a carefully tattooed mark.

The soft sound of clapping echoed through the room and almost all faces turned to the source of the sound. Aizen stood there, a pleased expression on his face, staring intensely at the boy who stood in the middle of bloody carnage.

The Tenth Espada was created.

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At some point, someone had bandaged his wounds. Chad could faintly recall it was Yoruichi-san, but he didn't have any strength to keep the conversation up. Urahara and Jinta had been fixing Renji and Ishida, since both of them took a lot of damage. He could see some severe burns on the redhead's skin. Ururu and Tessai were taking care of Rukia, who was in worst state from all of them. He remembered Yoruichi asking him what the hell happened out there. His only reply was '_We failed_'.

It all happened few hours ago and it was now the middle of the night, even though Urahara's shop was far from settling down for rest; The sudden meeting of some of the Soul Society's warriors and their supporters here in the living world – mostly Hitsugaya-taichou and Rangiku, Renji, Urahara, Yoruichi-san and even Byakuya-taichou made his appearance for an hour or so. Still, it was all beyond Chad's caring right now, as he sat on the shop's porch, leaning on the wall and simply watching the starry sky, too preoccupied with his own thoughts to notice anything else.

They had gone to Hueco Mundo knowing their risks. Still, this wasn't how things were supposed to happen. In Chad's mind things got too mixed up, too confused. It was almost like he was missing some kind of detail, an important one too. It felt a bit like all of this had been planned by someone long time ago and Chad couldn't surpass the shiver at the thought that Aizen might have schemed such a development of events from the very beginning.

"Chad!"

His head whipped around, only to see Tatsuki standing at the end of the narrow alley that lead to Urahara's shop. She was panting, as after a long run and bent slightly while trying to catch her breath.

"I knew I sensed you nearby, I just knew it."

He had forgotten about her, Keigo and Mizuro, about all of them. He vaguely recalled that Ichigo mentioned something about his fight with the girl shortly before leaving. What was he supposed to say now?

"Chad," Tatsuki gasped as she closed the distance between them quickly. "Please tell me you brought Orihime back. Tell me she's alright."

The silent giant just looked at her and even though Tatsuki wanted to fool herself, she knew long ago that Orihime wasn't around. She would have felt her presence even from the other part of the town if it came to it. Yet still, there was this nagging emptiness in the back of her mind and heart, something very, very out of place.

"You didn't, did you?" She nearly whimpered with fear and anger when he shook his head. Only then she noticed the bandages that were wrapped firmly around his neck and arms. The girl cringed at the sight, for the first time fully realizing the weight of their journey, even though she never learned the details.

"Chad, where's Ichi? Please, I need to talk to him." She just had to; maybe now, that she revealed her knowledge of his alternate life... maybe now he would not push her back again.

Tatsuki noticed how Chad winced at the sound of Ichigo's name and for a split second, a silent pang of panic pierced her chest.

"Ichigo..." Chad started to reply but then stopped for a second to gather up words and finally say them out loud; Almost like he was afraid that vocalizing it would make it more real, no matter how ridiculous that seemed. "Ichigo was left behind. He didn't come back with us."

Tatsuki started at the boy in disbelief. What was that supposed to mean? First Ichigo refused to share his burden with her, then tried to cut of all of the ties that connected them since childhood and now this? They all go leaping into huge black hole that appears in the sky out of nowhere, to bring her 'Hime back and he simply doesn't come back?

But from the look at Chad's face she could tell it was not a free choice; Something must have gone wrong, very, very wrong...

"Oh Chad..." She gasped at his pained expression, realizing he was worried about Ichigo just as much as she longed for Orihime's presence. They relationship wasn't a secret to any of their close friends, after all. She sat by his side on the wooden porch, staring at her own fingers, wrapped together tightly on her lap until they became white from the pressure. Chad's silent silhouette was at least a tiny spark of comfort in this hopeless situation. "I'm so sorry, Chad. Are they alright, you think? Ichi and 'Hime?"

There was a pleading tone in her voice, as if she was asking him for confirmation. Even though Chad knew this, he just couldn't bring himself to answer immediately.

"I'm sure Orihime is alive." He muttered, fingers subconsciously wrapping around the coin on his neck, as if seeking help in his Abuelo's memento. That was not the direct answer to her question, but Tatsuki only frowned more deeply.

"Chad" She started again, this time her voice was soft and whispery, underlined with sadness. "What is going on?"

He looked at her quizzically, as if seeing her for the first time.

"Where did you go? You, Ichigo and Ishida-kun? Why did they take Orihime? Who are you fighting with and why can't I help?" Her voice became a little bit hysterical, quite unlike Tatsuki's usually firm tone. "I remember that day where half on my fighting club died with no apparent reason. I remember two people dressed in white and how... weak I felt. They you and Orihime showed up and they... they hurt you, Chad. There was blood everywhere. Are those the people you, Ichigo and Ishida-kun are fighting with? Because I also remember that I was never that scared in my life. They were ready to kill you and... and..." She stopped her flow of words suddenly, as if confused by her own strain of thoughts. "Keigo and Mizuro can see them too. People in black kimonos, fighting some strange beings."

She looked at the starry sky, blinking back the tears she refused to shed.

"Please Chad, help me understand. If someone took Orihime and now Ichigo... I'm not saying I deserve to know, but--"

"I understand." Chad interrupted her suddenly. He did, really. Just as his own being was linked to Ichigo's life, so has Tatsuki's been joined with Orihime's. He knew that if it was him in such position, not knowing what was going on around him and his friends-- and loved ones disappearing without a trace... He would have gone mad a long time ago. Chad no longer wondered why Tatsuki had beaten Ichigo up soon before their departure to Las Noches.

So in the middle of the starry night, on the front porch of Urahara's shop, Chad started to tell her their story.


End file.
